Bathrooms: A New Networking Opportunity

It’s no secret that successful professionals turn to a variety of social situations into networking opportunities. In this day and age you need to always be ready to make a contact.

             We’ve all heard of the elevator speech, the golf game, and the industry conference. And we’ve certainly learned to exchange business cards at dinner parties, weddings, and concerts.

            But there is a vastly underexplored networking environment for men in particular, one which falls under the radar of even the most ardent networkers. A place you may visit two, four, even ten times a day.

            I’m talking about the public bathroom.

            For men, the public bathroom has long been a place to simply do one’s duty. You attempt to stifle any unseemly noise, you try not to make eye contact, and you rush out, as if you’d just committed a shameful sin.

            It’s time you liberate yourself from bathroom silence. You’ve doubtless seen a pair of gal pals rush off to the bathroom together to have a heart-to-heart. You need to adopt this attitude with everyone you meet in the bathroom environment.

            An ice-breaker can be as simple as the hearty exclamation “Man, am I glad to take a piss!” You will be surprised at the many laughs this will elicit, and the bond of empathy that will form between all individuals in the bathroom.

            Once you’ve gotten a friendly reaction, everything is fair game. The weather, the workday, how much sleep you got last night. Everything.

            There are many techniques ranging from the “fart-monster” to the “how’s-it-hanging,” but my personal favorite is the “fake-masturbation-session.” Oh, you’ll have the boys in the bathroom shaking with laughter, as they do their dirty deeds. Furthermore, this display of gentle perversity is the perfect lead-in to discuss matters of a sexual nature in a male-only environment.

            So, I implore men everywhere to smile and make eye contact, shake hands, and let the farts rip to the glee and delight of any other man who is lucky enough to be in the bathroom when you are. You may even get a business card out of it.